- Learning to let go
- Being okay when people’s opinions differ from mine
- Dealing with disappointed expectations
Learning to Let Go
I’ve had a few things in my life – okay, more than a few things go wrong that I wish I could undo. However, I know that it isn’t possible to do that. Ironically, the second best choice – letting go – is probably a lot easier than what I would have needed to do in order to prevent the situation from happening in the first place.
Letting go also takes a lot of time, and I’m not a patient person usually if I want something. I feel that if I practice letting go I might be able to do it more easily over time, but it probably will still depend a large part on what I am trying to let go. Letting go of big things might be scary because it means that I’m going to feel very different, at least in the immediate term. Navigating that change is the second step to letting go, and I wonder if that step is what keeps me from making a leap in the first place.
Being Okay When People’s Opinions Differ from Mine
This one is tough because I think that sometimes I need to convince people to see my point of view, especially if I think it is morally wrong, or if it harms me in some way. However, there are also a lot of opinions that I think are pretty superficial, but I’m scared to deal with this difference because it feels like a confrontation. I’m learning to see that if someone is different from you in how they see the world, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I need to feel threatened by it. I don’t need to run and try to convince them to think differently. I can be secure in my own emotions.
I ultimately think that the best way to be okay is to have a healthy sense of trust in yourself. It’s important to know and think about what is right for you. There might be some doubts and uncomfortable feelings, but those feelings do not have to be addressed by stuffing down your own views of the situation. Especially when there is a power dynamic involved, it’s important to stay close to your own truth.
Dealing with Disappointed Expectations
I think this one is tough for me because I’m a perfectionist. I have a very idealistic version of how the future is going to be and how I’m going to be the one to help me get there. However, it’s not always the case that everything I do is within my control.
Where I am now is that expectations are just another indicator of how I’m feeling about a situation. If I have low expectations about the chances of a positive result, maybe a more productive way is to reflect on why I think this is the case. That way I can be more focused on how I can influence the process instead of letting one conclusion at one point in the time stick with me.
Feeling disappointment is also something that I’m learning to deal with, too. It’s a little painful at first, but these feelings have faded over time. I think it’s an indicator that I still have some stake in the game with regards to my future and am being conscious of whether or not I like a certain situation. Having this awareness will hopefully translate to bringing about better change, which will shift my energy from disappointment to excitement.