If it doesn’t resonate with you, and is constantly in opposition with your core values, even if you understand what is going on and can try to accept it, the repetition can overwhelm you. Because sometimes people are unhappy when they are being told what they don’t want to hear. One of the things I love that Samantha says is “I want for you what you want for yourself.” And you are the best judge of your feelings, you are the one who truly and honestly knows, so you will have the answer. And sometimes we start going down a path because someone told us that, and we didn’t know what else there was out there to do.
On the Importance of Belonging
When people start to listen to themselves, when they continue to make decisions that don’t resonate with them, it can be hard. I can’t imagine what it is like to be in a system that doesn’t support your joy.
On Finding a Mentor
My advice to you. Find someone who went through it with you and see how they have said yes to themselves. See if you can find someone like Kelly Brogan who was a person who realized that there was a fundamental problem and she resisted the system. She now does holistic psychiatric care and there is a sense of security and trust you have for her because she’s been through the system. So if you found an attorney who broke the cycle, then that’s the person to model. Find someone like that who can support you and someone who has done it before. I’ve been learning that other people’s support is VALUABLE and that I’ve been hurting myself so long by not asking for help and by not telling people that I’ve been struggling.
On Heart-Based Decisionmaking
When we make decisions out of fear, it won’t be good. If we are aware of it, then at least you know that the decision needs to come out of the heart, and not out of fear.
Matthew David Hurtado. He has a new theory about the word “reaction.” He says if you look at the way we communication towards, reaction is really about being alignment of what you want to bring make home. So it’s a matter of making sure your actions are who you want to be. Most of the time our reaction to the external world is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. If you responded in a certain way, that is how you are seeing something.
On Change and Evolution
That response is an only time limited thing. When we are aware of what we are doing or saying, and to make sure who want to be and what we want to bring home, then we notice where we want to make changes. How you confront a situation or show gratitude; it can be anything. If you want something to be different in your life, then show up differently. I get how fun and playful it is that we live in a world with so many options; clothes, artwork, cars; it is all options. As you live your life and go through tangible experiences, you get to pick and choose what you like or why you like it. There’s so much diversity in this world in terms of material items, that is a statement or reflection of who you are. If everything is a reflection of what’s inside, then how you live and present yourself should be a good guidance or tool to show you what’s going on. How you look at the world and see this moment shows you what you look inside. It should be a blessing because it allows you to notice right where you want to be or if you can make some improvements. The possibilities are infinite which should either excite you (get you to relax), or maybe even just do nothing. Because it’s also the possibility of allowing things to come to you, because sometimes you don’t have to do all the work.
If you take the attitude that everything is already set up for you and that works, then that makes it easier. How can I make sense for me to trust me, if I never let him in? It’s a two way street, and sometimes it is hard to trust new people and people in general with something you care about, with what is valued or sacred to you, because you don’t know how the other person will respond. You don’t know if it is going to be a loving response or if they will be invalidating; that is the general risk. That’s something that takes practice doing. For example, young men trying to meet women will just simply do that. They will get used and be comfortable talking with women. And they’ll be rejected and they don’t just care anymore. In the beginning, it will be a nervous tension, and once they have been rejected, then they think they can say whatever they want. Sometimes they will say something clever and natural and fun, because they have a sense of humor and completely out of the ordinary, which is what people like. Because those people are going through the process of not caring about what people think, because number one they know they are and they are confident. Makes it easier to approach people, and allow someone else to trust them and have the trust in return. Every once in a while, I motivate or inspire myself and say yes to those impulses. I went up to her, and I played it up like dance company, and she said she is a makeup artist. It got me comfortable approaching people. Hypothetically, I saw someone that was star talent; but if I never got comfortable approaching people, how can I talk to others? And being able to talk to someone with what is going on. Regardless of what is enthusiastic and going on. Those contexts are different, but I used only to reach out to my family with good news. I do have one person that I literally–this guy who came up to me in the mall and was trying to set me up for a date. I went on a date with him, and we are just friends, and we would hang out. I would meet his friends and his mine. The cool thing about this person is because I wasn’t competitive or cared about it, because of that, I was 100% myself. I talked to him about the dancing, belief system, financial system, he got to know who I am. Whenever I’m sad or down, he’s the one person I talk to because I feel like he accepts me. I allowed that person to know me, and it’s not because of him. As a byproduct of his personality, we don’t agree with everything, but because I put myself in that position to share who I am, then it became refreshing to know that there is one human being in the same state that I live in that I can call or have things have anything. That is a valuable thing to have. Whether he is a therapist, friend, counselor, or whatever. Human being needs that in life to allow them and help them to grow. Having one person in your life can help you being yourself and in front of people to you. The people in general want to be human beings. And when we see someone being silly, goofy, or passionate, because it gives us permission to be that and to be free. Too many times we get in our own way about how we go about our own lives. About the time you came into town, around the time we came to be Samantha, about how it hurts a little to change.
When you are comfortable, and being yourself, and you are expressing that. People join you and support you and people want that freedom as well. That’s why the marketing. In the beginning, he knew who he was, and he was confident in that. And he shared it with the world. This guy is so out there and it’s so empowering, and it allows people to show their human self. All we want is unconditional love; that’s what resonates with people today. I encourage you to reach out. See if you can find other people who can find Kelly Brogan-esque people. Tune into the video subscription; listening to that if you’re making breakfast or whatever. It is a good refresher or reminder that someone did it. That they changed the world, even if the world did not change fast enough for them. You may discover your own ways of doing the practice, and making your own life better, finding people who can do that.
On Not Knowing
There is a pressure to know what your major was before you went to college. What profession do I want to be? Not having the answers is ok. I’m 29 years old, I’m going to be 30 this year. I still consider myself a professional ballet dancer, because I didn’t add weight training until my mid-20s. Showing yourself that you’ve been courageous, and then you can make your decision. Do I want to continue with this? Or do I want to do something else? Reassuring them that it is not too late to do something else.
The concept is when you’re watching a rocketship; there’s a countdown. When you get to one, and you want to stand up. And we’ll have a good idea in your head. If you’re laying down, or you just woke up, maybe you’re standing in line and you have a good idea. If you wait long enough with inaction, your mind may have a conversation that might not be an affirmation of that good idea. You might talk yourself out of it. If you have a really good idea, if you count down from 5, you can do something about it. This girl is a regular person, and she said you were watching something. In my head, I counted down from 5, and I did something about it, and I accomplished and finished it. And it was so powerful, and then I kept on applying it to my life, left and right. It was so lifechanging that she wrote a book about it and create change and things in her life. This little fun tool. I’m really good at sitting still. Sometimes I get a great reward for that; everything just shows up. But other things I worked for, and it is my attitude about whether it is hard or not. Sometimes I’ll get inspired, but if mentally, I happen to be in a situation where I’m not enthusiastic or in a funk. I may get inspired to do something, but if I do that 5-1 ordeal, I’m grateful for when I remember it. I don’t let it overwhelm or stress me out; be grateful that when it shows up in your mind, and you’ll be surprised and dazzled that one of those things will help your life. There are other things where, you don’t feel like a countdown. You start to know what is a good idea where your body to do. She’s also really fun to listen to as well. She is someone that is not a specialist; just someone who is inspired to share.